Observations on the Online dating world in NYC

Navigating the dating world in NYC for a woman my age, has been interesting to say the least. I, like so many people my age, have joined the world of newly available. The question as to where one meets other singles presented itself.

Options: 
              Bar scene; not my thing
              Club scene; been there done that.
              Having friends introduce you to available single friends. Not likely, most of them are getting a divorce or are themselves divorced, aka competition. 

So where does it leave us you ask? Online dating seemed to be the next reasonable option, after all there are dozens of sites. Reasonable it would seem until you see what is out there and what is really going on.

I've asked both male and female friends who have navigated these mirky waters to fill me in on some of their stories. Some of their horror stories ranged from a guy posting else's picture to "lure" a date in and then asking if the woman wanted to continue the date, to one woman being grilled for an hour as if on a job interview, she couldn’t wait to get away. Another guy  grabbed at the girl wanting to make out with a girl after an hour. Dude, has that ever worked for you?  The most brow raising was the amount of prostitution going on, but I’ll leave that to law enforcement. FYI guys 20 year old girls are not REALLY into a 50 year balding man.

I get ahead of myself... First thing first
After checking out a few sites my question are what is really going on with these people? Do people really think about what they are putting on their profiles? Why so many pictures of women with their dogs and men with their cats? I even saw a picture of a guy getting facial laser treatment (no I'm not making this up). Does anyone really read the profiles or do they just check out the photos? The one word sentences harkens to the Neanderthal.

I've seen my share of pictures posted of people in various states of dress and undress in mirrors. Clearly Congressman Weiner, did not serve as a lesson here. Sorry if you don't know who Weiner is. Google it, your eyebrows are sure to rise. Doesn't anyone have a friend that can shoot the picture for them? If your friends don’t think it’s creepy, chances are strangers won’t either folks.

I read a quote today on a profile that read: "My experience is match com members appear, disappear poof like magic or have zero time to make an effort to meet...That seems to be the case one finds upon conversations with people I've spoken to about what they find on these sites. People initiate but don’t follow through.

Some sites match you up via a robotic compatibility and others leave you to ‘wink’ at each other with a click. From there you email each other. Some sites charge for this added privilege others don’t. Most communications fizzle out either because one party gets spooked or just bored to death.  

So that leaves me with yet more questions. Are folks really looking for a "sole mate", hook up, or just a pause from clicking through to their favorite porn site? Are folks just too jaded, or rather not interested enough to go through the trouble? I don't really know which is the answer, but feel free to chime in your thoughts.



 


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